
Self-Harming & Suicidal Thoughts & Behaviors
0
5
0
There are a complex array of reasons why someone would self-harm such as cutting themselves, burning themselves, or punching the wall until they bleed. A sign of distress that is hard to express and is trying to find some form of release. A form of relief or simply trying to feel something again opposed to feeling numb. Many people who feel like self-harming have gone through severe trauma and distress such as rape, abuse, and consistent chaotic families dynamics. From hearing stories from teenagers and young adults who have been beaten and kicked by their own parents until they bleed. Being dragged up the stairs by their ponytail by their drunk father. Family homeless and being exposed to community violence. Feeling unsafe not only at home, but at school. There are a number of reasons that aren't openly expressed and verbalized to the public who live in more privileged, mostly stable and healthy lives.

Now, when I use the term privileged, I'm not associating privilege to Caucasian people. I'm going to leave the vocabulary word without pointing or assuming associations as not every "group" of people fit into their majorities box shall we say. As I am "other" in the category box most of the time, depending on what I am allowed to choose as options, perhaps I can play the role of a referee or judge. Maybe I'm the blue Arcturian alien from a galaxy far far away and sometimes I think the human race are all crazy as they beat up their own people all the time. There are always outliers to every dissected human group, as well as people who simply just make their own group look bad whomever they are representing. I would like to help put into perspective if you have it better or not than some other humans with the examples I will list below. If you compare yourself these examples if you have never encountered or even thought about it as a thought, as it has never applied to you, you have it better than a group of people. To help bring empathy as to why people do what they do, or how they eventually evolve over time to do, think, or behave the way they become. Try to imagine if you were to not just read, but to imagine living day to day in a life of the few listed scenarios.
Being more fortunate than others can apply to any race, age, gender or any mixture you would like to concoct. The main thing to think about is the perspective. To realize that if you haven't been ping ponged around with CPS cases as a child, bounced around to a few foster homes, ever been raped or physically abused, shot at with a gun, or bullied, terrorized, or beaten almost to death, you are in the privileged sector of the human race. If you don't live in a country where the daily grind is working labor jobs for very low pay just to eat, feeling enthusiastic for any kind of food donated to you, or searching for scraps of hills of garbage because of the location you were born or what has been done to your country, you are privileged. If you can afford air conditioning and a washer and dryer as many other countries this is a luxury good, you are privileged. It's perspective, and if you've been privileged enough to travel internationally several times as well as have chosen some of the non-westernized countries, you will not just see it on the travel channel, you will be in it, feel it, and embody the experience.
Therefore, if you are lucky enough to have a smart phone and can read this, or any kind of computer, you have a tool that can really help you or waste your time. It's up to you how you choose to use and utilize it. Sometimes what you watch can make you feel worse and less than about yourself. Sometimes this can motivate you to be better or take the opportunity to create something for yourself. Or to teach or learn from a vast amount of information that's accessible to you while using discernment.
If you find yourself or someone you know to have SI/SH thoughts or behaviors, it is a sign and cry for help. The reasons can vary from individual to individual, but it can be a form of trying to find some kind of control. If pain is being inflicted onto them, even if it's bottled up emotions, and they cannot erase it or escape it, they can at least take control and just do it themselves. At least they are only hurting themselves and not someone else as once was done or perceived to be done to them or is still happening. I am only discussing possible subconscious or conscious behaviors and urges. Yes, thoughts of it can occur too, but why do those thoughts start to boil up? Yes, it is possible to have a dosage of attention seeking, but what accumulated for it to get to this point? Strong and uncomfortable feelings and emotions they don't know what or how to get rid of or express seem to have to go somewhere. Energy, just like a boiling pot of water with the lid on for too long.
It may be very hard for people to admit that they would actually do or think about these things especially when they are in pain. If it has come to that point, it may seem as though no one heard or was there for them anyways and instead were shamed or disregarded. The feeling of hopelessness and burden. Perhaps they were always the ones to put themselves on the back burner or allowed one too many things to overstep their boundaries. Maybe they don't have boundaries nor have a strong sense of self to have created any. We can even create boundaries, but not always follow them. People do this with their diets all the time! Expressing openly about vulnerabilities or what is going on may make them feel ashamed, or even threatened as if their only source of home and financial security is the same place where the abuse happens and the consequences are not worth it as well as knowing it is complicated, so they suck it up and stay. The tools and know how to build themselves out while trying to simply survive is not as easily capable as others. Developing resiliency is not comfortable, and people who have overcome quite a lot and are doing pretty good considering the past circumstances are very resilient.
Please remember that I am only expressing various scenarios that could possibly happen, and it does not mean that if someone is having SI/SH thoughts or behaviors that there is defiantly something happening at home or to assume blame and create rumors that aren't true and can actually do more harm. Go to the source if you want to help. It could be friends, school, teachers, someone at daycare or church, not fitting into the popular crowd, not feeling good enough, or not being accepted. Mental health, our thoughts and emotions are all a very multi-dimensional and expansive thing. If you are more of a black and white type thinker with very little understanding of grey area, this can be a very challenging concept to grasp all the varieties than can happen. Mental health and human emotions is not like math class or an excel spread sheet.

One of the teenagers I briefly counseled who used to self harm and was abused a multitude of times in her past told me about the butterflies. Whenever she would feel the urge to cut, she would instead get a marker and start drawing butterflies all over her wrists. Coloring with different colors and patterns to pass the time and the urge. She would think as she looked back on her forearm if she wanted to cut, that she doesn't want to kill the butterflies and to not do it as a reminder. The ink of the markers would stay for a while even after washing, so it helped for at least a few days at a time.
I found that she has a great and creative coping skill and I thank her for passing this information to me so I can spread it to anyone who may find this useful.
Call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis hotline is available 24/7 in the United States.
#selfharm #suicidalthoughts #information #mentalhealth #perspectives #mind #crisis #privilege #humanbehavior #culture #trauma #abuse #counseling #mentor #copingskills